I had been awaiting this package for almost eight months,
stuck in a state of fear, excitement, and disbelief. Anxiously, I opened the
door just in time to see the FedEx driver climb back into his truck. Kneeling
down to pick up the package, I yelled, “Thank you!” over the sound of his
diesel engine, and stepped back inside!
I applied to the Peace Corps at the beginning of my last year
at university. Recruiters advised all to apply months in advance since
the application process was rather lengthy. Holding my final
correspondence package, I ripped into it to find this letter.
The Volunteer Assignment Description said I was going to The Republic of Kiribati! Where is Kiribati I thought to myself? Peace Corps correctly assumed I had no knowledge of this country and provided an ample amount of information on the nation in the package.
At the time, Peace Corps assigned volunteers to countries based on three factors; a candidate's health, skills and their availability. I was
healthy, had a degree in elementary education, and was available to leave in
mid to late 2000. These factors had qualified me for three regions:
Africa, Central Europe, and the Pacific. However, despite stating my
severe motion sickness, allergic tendencies towards seafood, and strong dislike
for hot and humid weather, I was assigned to this small nation located in the
Pacific Islands. Not wanting to disappoint the Corps, I said nothing.
Kiribati? I thought to myself, where is Kiribati? I searched through
the package to find out more information about my assignment to this nation. At
the time, I recall Peace Corps assigning volunteers to countries based on three
factors: a candidate’s health, skills and availability. I was healthy, had a
degree in elementary education, and was available to leave in mid to late 2000.
These factors had qualified me for three regions: Africa, Central Europe,
and the Pacific. However, despite stating my severe motion sickness,
allergic tendencies towards seafood, and strong dislike for hot and humid
weather, I was assigned to this small nation located in the Pacific Islands.
Not wanting to disappoint the Corps, I said nothing.
Besides my
sister’s honeymoon pictures she had taken in Hawai’i the previous year, I knew
nothing about the Pacific. So I tore through the rest of the package, and
learned that Kiribati was located in the middle of the ocean, had less than
90,000 people, and was composed of 33 islands. Soon, I stumbled upon the
government SATO travel documents, and suddenly it all became real.
I became so
distracted thinking about my future paradise on this tropical island that I forgot
all about my job. I grabbed my package, and rushed to the restaurant. During
breaks, I snuck into unoccupied booths to continue my reading. When I
returned home, I googled the nation. But I only found a handful of
websites that had information about the country, and most were run by world
governments.
However, more challenging than finding information on Kiribati was deciding on what to pack for the next two years of my life. Peace Corps allowed each volunteer two 70 lb. bags. Mom suggested I bring a good supply of toilet paper and Pepto Bismol, while dad offered no suggestions. I suspected he didn't believe I would join Peace Corps, since all of my actions stated otherwise.
After all,
I had several local school districts requesting interviews. To him, surely I
would take at least one interview, which could lead to a job and stable future.
However, it was not until we were sitting at the Cincinnati airport that my
desire for a different kind of life hit home for the both of us.
In 1997, my maternal grandmother,
Mona, daughter of Jose and Cruz, passed away. We attended her funeral in El
Paso. However, instead of flying, my father, sister and I drove. I
refused to fly after seeing the movie Alive in high
school. It was a true story
about a Uruguayan rugby team whose plane crashed into a mountain range while they
were en route to a tournament. Almost all of the passengers died immediately
upon impact, and the survivors spent weeks inside the wreckage, warding off
starvation by turning into cannibals. Because of this, I forced us to
drive 3,076 miles to El Paso that summer.
Somewhere
between Fort Worth and Odessa, the consequences of my decision became obscene.
We had been traveling non-stop for more than twenty hours before reaching
this long stretch of barren dessert. Tension
was high in the car because no one, including myself saw an end to the journey.
A journey, we did not have to take by
car. The straw that broke the camel’s
back was the radio. In our rush to make the funeral, we forgot
to pack music for the trip. This left us at the mercy of the desert radio gods. Frequently searching for stations to
no avail, we were forced to listen to the stillness of the desert. Dad fought
hard to stay awake. Internally, I jumped
for joy when anything but static came in. One station, which came in loud
and clear for roughly 50 miles, repeatedly played one country song and a Gold
Bond medicated itch cream commercial. Singing along with the song and repeating
‘for almost every kind of itch’ on queue became less entertaining with each
rendition. Dad had enough and turned off the radio after about five rounds. I could only stay silent and feel bad as we continued our journey to El Paso.
We spent a
week in El Paso, traveling from house to church to cemetery and back. In the
end, it was good that we drove since we were able to bring back some of my
grandma’s treasures. We also made sure to equip our van with a CD player for
the trip home. It was this trip that broke my fear of flying.
***
I was now
sitting at gate number twelve with my mother, father, sister, and one-year-old
nephew. Each of us would have been happy not to be there as the boarding ramp
doors opened. As I stood up to gather my bags, dad let out a loud cry.
Its echoes still ring clear in my mind when I think about that day. It
was as if all of his emotions, which had been building up for months possibly,
had finally been released.
Somewhat
taken aback by this uncharacteristic display of emotion, and feeling a little
embarrassed, I did not want to expose my own insecurities. I felt the
same way inside. I silently repeated to myself just hold it in… just hold it
in. My eyes watered as I handed my ticket to the attendant. Turning
back one last time, I waved and proceeded down the ramp. As soon as I made it
past the boarding ramp turn, I let the tears pour out. I heard a girl sobbing
behind me. By chance, I asked, are you joining the Peace Corps too? Patting her
eyes with a tissue, she nodded. I asked, where? She said a country called
Kiribati.
The roads to El Paso/Kiribati